“Happiness is…finding two olives in your martini when you’re hungry.”
– Johnny Carson
“Martinis are the only American invention as perfect as a sonnet.”
– H. L. Mencken
“He knows just how I like my martini – full of alcohol.”
– Homer Simpson
“The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful, and a snootful at the same time?”
– Gerald R. Ford
“If it wasn’t for the olives in his martinis he’d starve to death.”
– Milton Berle
“A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.”
– Jackie Gleason
“I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.”
– George Burns
“Shaken, not stirred.”
– James Bond
“One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.”
– James Thurber
“I’m not talking a cup of cheap gin splashed over an ice cube. I’m talking satin, fire and ice; Fred Astaire in a glass; surgical cleanliness, insight.. comfort; redemption and absolution. I’m talking MARTINI.”
– Anonymous